Pains of Love
by Cayne Salem
Summary: This story takes place a few years after BTR has hit it big. Logan tells Carlos how he feels about him, but Carlos can't handle it so Logan runs. Logan/Carlos. this story is for Hikari of Death, thanx 4 everything.
1. Chapter 1

**Pains of Love:**

-Big Time Rush Mansion, Los Angeles, California-

Logan is the first one to wake up, well, really he never went to sleep. As of late he has a lot on his mind, just a few years ago he was just a normal teenager living in Minnesota going to a normal high school and had a normalish family life. His parents never got along they would fight day and night, his father was a drunk and into drugs. His mother was a workaholic and his older half brother tried his best to protect him from the beatings his father would give him but he couldn't always be there. Then he met Kendall, James and Carlos the three of them met while trying out for the Hockey team and quickly became friends. He grew closer to Carlos then he did with Kendall and James. He spend almost all of his free time with Carlos. They were either come up with new moves for the team or studying, well, more so Logan was teaching Carlos or they would just hanging out watching TV, listening to music or playing video games. Logan discovered his feelings for Carlos two days before they came out to Los Angeles and it was then that he thought it best to keep it to himself, the only other person who knows that he is gay is Camille only because he could tell she liked him and he told her so she wouldn't get hurt. At first Camille was thrown off by it but then she told herself that she must mean a lot to him if he would tell her something so private about himself that he hasn't even told his best friends. Logan had just walked into the kitchen when both Kendall and James walked in all sweaty and panting heavily, "How was the run guys?" Kendall took a deep breath of air, "Great." he gasped before he went on, "Course James couldn't keep up." James pushed Kendall, "That's not true man I twisted my ankle." "Yeah okay." Kendall smiled, "So what's up? Is Carlos up?" "No, just me." Logan said. "Well, listen man I'm gonna hit the shower cause I stink and covered in sweat." James said. "Yeah man same here." Kendall stated. As the two of them walked up the stairs Carlos entered with his helmet on, Logan smiled, "Carlos, man why do you still wear that thing?" "Cause I feel safe with it on." Carlos said. Logan then thought back to the first time he ever saw him in that helmet, they were ten years old when they went on a bike ride and they well, had an accident and Carlos busted his head wide open and blood was ever where; the ground, his shirt, his hands, on his pants and he needed at least 20 stitches. So the next time they went bike riding Logan brought helmets for them and he stills wears it to this day. He also remembers that the helmet he gave him is the exact same one he wears now cause he had Carlos' name engraved on it. "Carlos you're in your own house why would you need a helmet on?" Carlos shrugged his shoulders, "Don't know but I'm not taking it off and you can't make me." He then stuck his tongue out at Logan. "Not gonna make you." Logan smiled. Carlos sat there looking at Logan, "What?" "Nothing I just find it funny that you still wear the helmet I gave you when we were ten." "Of course, bro, you gave it to me and I will always keep it." Carlos smiled. "Well, listen tell Kendall and James that I had to the studio Kelly asked me to come in and do a small recording before I head back to Minnesota." Logan said. "Oh yeah that's right I forgot you're going to Minnesota for your grandmother's birthday." Carlos said, "And I'll tell James and Kendall where you went."

Logan exited the Mansion as he closed the door he sighed. As he walked towards his car his feelings for Carlos lashed their way through his brain and into his heart. How do you tell your best friend that you're in love with them, knowing that they don't see you in the same light nor are they gay. Once in his car he banged his head against the steering wheel cursing himself and telling himself that he could never have Carlos, that if he knew how he truly felt that he would turn his back on him and their life long friendship would come to an end. Just as he started his car the song _**'User Friendly' by Marilyn Manson **_went off which is the ring tone for this guy he meet a months back. **(You can guess what kind of friend he is)**. He flipped the phone open, "Hello? Yeah, hey Mark, what's up? No man I can't meet you right now. No, no, I'm not going to see someone else. No, I'm going into the studio. Yeah, I guess I can meet you tonight. Alright, bye." He hang up his phone and threw it in the passenger seat once fully backed out of the drive way he turned on the radio and the song playing was _**'I'm in Love With You' by Cassie**_. As the song played all Logan could do was think about everything that Carlos did to make him fall in love with him, there was his smile he loved the fact that he could see his canines it made him look like a vampire. Then there are his chocolate brown eyes. His brown skin and he really loved the way water danced on his skin and the way the rays of the sun let him up. He also loved how free spirited he is but it also means a lot to him that Carlos was the one who got him out of his parents house and talked him into coming to L.A with them. As Logan pulled into the parking spot in front of the Studio, he shook his head trying to erase his feelings for Carlos so he could sing his parts in the songs that Gustavo had written for them. Normally he would be recording the songs with the guys but he is going back to Minnesota in a few days and he is going to be there for a week. So instead of the guys waiting for to come back to record the songs he is gonna record his parts now then they will do theirs and the rest will be history. "Morning Logan." Kelly flashed him a smile. "Morning." Logan hung his head low, "Logan are you okay?" Kelly looked a him with quizful eyes. "Yeah I'm fine I just didn't get much sleep that's all." Logan lied to her. "Okay, well, Gustavo should be here in a little he is handling a call so you can just relax and wait for him." Kelly said. "Okay." Logan said he sat in a chair outside to recording studio as Kelly started to text someone on her phone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

-Meanwhile back at the mansion-

Carlos is sitting in a chair near the window glancing out when both Kendall and James came in, "Hey dude what's up?" "Not much just eating breakfast." Carlos said, "Hey guys does Logan seem okay?" "Yeah he seems fine to me, why?" Kendall said. Carlos sighed and thought to himself before he spoke, "I don't know it's just that he didn't ask one of us to go back to Minnesota with him seeing how his dad will be there." "Well, maybe he thinks that he can take care of himself now." Kendall said. "And besides we are kinda busy, I have a photo shot and James is set to guest appear in a TV show." "Yeah I know but I don't feel right letting him go back to Minnesota alone. I think I'll see if it's alright if I go back with him." Carlos said. "Bro, I really think you should let him go alone but if he is okay with as well as Gustavo I don't see a problem with it." Kendall said. "Well, on to another subject Katie and your mom are on their way over." Carlos said. "Really? I wonder why they are coming over today, uhh." Kendall said. "Well, anyways Carlos I have a question for you." "What's up?" Carlos asked. "Why do you wanna go back to Minnesota with Logan?" Kendall asked. "Well, I am one of his best friends." Carlos said. "And besides you guys didn't see him that night I found him. You didn't see how beat up and bloody he was, I did and it pained me that we couldn't do anything about cause I know if we tried he would be so hurt and ashamed." "What? He never told us about that or anything about his father for that matter." James said. Carlos was confused if Logan never told Kendall or James about his father or what happened that night and why he came to L.A with them why would he break down and cry in his arms that night. For once Carlos felt special being that only he knew of Logan's father and how he would abusive him both physically and sexually. He also felt bad cause he still hasn't told the other guys about it either and he knew all about it. "Crap I feel bad now." "What? Why?" Kendall asked. "Cause you two never knew and I'm not sure if he wanted you to know." Carlos said. "Carlos it's okay we aren't gonna tell him you told us. Heck we won't even bring it up unless he does which knowing Logan he probably won't." Kendall said. "Yeah." James stated.

-Rocque Recorders-

Gustavo walked down the hall yelling into his phone, "Logan! Wake up!" Logan jumped awake, "Uhh...What?" "Get up and let's start." Gustavo said. He walked into the sound room, "Please stop yelling at him he was on time while you were late." Kelly said. "I don't care! He is on my time not his!" Gustavo shouted. Kelly rolled her eyes, "Well, try to be nice." "Fine, whatever." Gustavo turned away from her, "Now you have two songs in front of you and the parts highlighted are your parts so sing them and don't mess them up." Logan glance at the first song it was entitled 'Dream Lover', he then glanced at the second song entitled 'Unimaginable Love'. "Okay let's get started." Gustavo said. Logan placed the headphones on his ears and leaned towards the microphone.

_'Girl from the very first moment I saw your face_

_I dreamed you would be mine_

_In my dreams is your face, your smile_

_Dream lover, dream lover_

_You are always in my dreams _

_Dream lover, dream lover'_

"How was that?" Logan asked. "That was okay for now. Now on to the next song." Gustavo said. "Okay." Logan smiled, he then flipped to the next song.

_'There was a time when I had no one_

_When I felt so alone_

_When I thought no one in this world care for me_

_Then I met you_

_You showed me love, you showed me happiness_

_You removed a veil of darkness, you shined the light_

_And for that I love you.'_

As Logan sang this song he put so much emotion in it that it actually made Kelly tear up. As he sang the song all he could do was think about Carlos and how he has made him feel since that day he saved him from his father, of course he feels bad for not telling the other guys about the abusive from his father. He wants to tell them but then he doesn't like to share anything about his past and hopes it never comes back to hunt him. "Okay Logan listen I think the way you sang both songs was great and you can go." Gustavo said. "Okay." Logan placed the headphones down and walked out of the recording studio. "Logan! Wait before you go can I speak with you?" Kelly asked as she rushed out of the sound booth. "Yeah, sure." Logan followed her to her office. Once in he sat down, "So what's up?" "Is everything okay, Logan?" Kelly asked. "Yeah everything's fine. Why?" Logan asked. "Well usually you don't sing a song with such feeling like you did today, I was just wondering if you're having trouble with a loved one." Kelly said. "Oh well." Logan paused he wasn't sure if he should tell Kelly the truth of make up a lie as he stared into her eyes he decided to lie to her. "Well there's this girl that I like but I know that she doesn't feel the same way about me and every time I see her my heart just aches to be with her and I don't know if I should reveal my feelings to her." "Well, Logan all I can really tell is to follow your heart and hope for the best." Kelly said. "I know, I think I will just live my life and see what happens." Logan said. "Okay well I hope everything works out for you Logan." Kelly smiled, "Well, I need to get going I have a meeting for a new singer we are signing." "Okay thanks for this talk Kelly." Logan said. "You're welcomed." Kelly said. As Logan walked towards the elevator his phone went off, he flipped it open, "Hello? Oh hey, Carlos? What's up? Yeah sure man I would love it if you came back to Minnesota with me that is if Gustavo will let you. Okay well I should be home shortly. Okay see you then." He hung up his phone and as the doors to the elevator closed he had a small smile on his face. As he slowly walked towards his car his phone went off again and without looking he flipped it open, the voice on the other end stopped him in his tracks, "How did you get my number? No, I don't want to talk to you." He quickly hung up the phone and dashed to his car.

-Later-

Logan pulled his car into the driveway of a house he knew all to well as he stepped out of the car he sighed and lowered his head. He then slowly made his way towards the door and he slowly knocked on the door. As the door opened he took a deep breath, "Hi." "Hey Logan what's up? I thought we were gonna get together tonight?" "Yeah I know but I just needed to see you." Logan said. "Is it okay if I come in?" "Yeah sure come on in." The guy stepped aside and let Logan in, "Mark do you like me or do you just see me as an object?" Mark was in shock of course he liked Logan, heck on some occasions he thought me might even love him but with his career he couldn't be in a relationship let alone in a gay relationship. Him and Logan usually get together just to have sex it was something they both agreed on. "Logan of course I like you but you know my deal I can't be seen in a relationship let alone with guy." Logan sighed, "I know." "Come here Logie." Mark held his arms out at Logan. As he climbed into his arms he sighed and tears began to flow down his cheeks, "Logie what's wrong?" "Well, you remember how I told you that I was going back to Minnesota for my grandmother's birthday." Logan said, "At first I was scared cause my dad was gonna be there and you couldn't come with me so I was seriously thinking of not going." "Logie I told you that you should go I mean it is your grandmother after all." Mark said. "I know but I really didn't want to deal with my father but Carlos called me and asked if it was okay if he came with me." Logan said, "And I said yes." "Well, there you go now you'll have one of your close friends with you." Mark said. He then leaned in a placed a soft kiss on Logan's lips, as their mouths parted Mark slipped in his tongue and they laid down on the sofa with him on top of Logan.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

-Big Time Rush Mansion-

It was pass ten when Logan showed up at the mansion and Carlos was first to greet him, "Hey bro where've you been?" "Well, after the recording I went and grabbed something to eat then I went for a walk in the park and just lost track of time." Logan said. "Why didn't you call? I was worried about you!" Carlos shouted. "Carlos calm down I just went to the park okay nothing happened, I'm fine." Logan said. "That's not the point bro." Carlos stated. "Carlos, calm down I am fine." Logan snapped. Just then Kendall and James came down the stairs, "What's with all the yelling?" "Carlos is freaking out that I went for a walk in the park and didn't get home till now." Logan said. "Carlos what's up man Logan is fine chill dude." Kendall said. "I'm sorry Logan I just freaked out that's all." Carlos smiled he then went to his room. "Okay well, now that that's settled, how's was the recording?" James said. "It went great the songs Gustavo wrote are great and he really liked the way I sang my parts as did Kelly." Logan said. "Well, listen guys I'm really tired so I'm gonna head up to bed." Okay, night Logan." James said. Once Logan made it upstairs he noticed that Carlos' door was open and his light was on, he slowly peeked in and saw him sitting and the edge of his bed in only his pajama bottoms he was looking over some papers. As he stood there he began to think of the lyrics to _Billie Holiday's song 'I'm A Fool to Want You' _He smiled as he stepped back the floor broads cricked which caused Carlos to stand up from his bed and head towards the door. Logan leaned against the wall as he opened the door, "Logie, what's up?" "Nothing I was just on my way to bed that's all." Logan responded. He just stared at Carlos standing there with no shirt on and in loosely fit pajama bottoms that showed the waist band on his underwear. His chest was smooth and cut, he has the body of a football player and his skin was a nice light brown color. Logan thought to himself that he just couldn't take it anymore he needs to, no, he wants to tell Carlos how he feels about. How much he loves him. How he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. "Carlos I need to tell you something." His voice was a soft whisper, it was as though he opened his mouth and the air in the mansion just carried it out for him. "Sure. Do you wanna come in and sit down." Carlos said. "Okay." Logan whispered. Carlos led Logan into his room and slightly closed the door behind him as he sat down on Carlos' bed he took a deep breath. "So what's up, Logan?" "Carlos I have to tell you something that I have been keeping in for years now and I can't take it anymore." Logan said. "What is it?" Carlos stared at Logan with a confused look on his face. _Input song: Kelly Clarkson 'How I Feel'_ "Carlos I'm...Gay." Logan lowered his head not wanting to look him his eyes, he was ashamed that he was gay. Carlos placed his hand under his chin and pulled his face up to look at him in his eyes, "Logan I'm okay with you being gay, you're my best friend, my brother for that matter and I love you no matter what." Logan's frown turned into a small smile, "There's something else." "Do you have a boyfriend?" Carlos asked. "No." Logan stated. "I'm in love with someone." "Really that's great man. Who is it? Do I know him?" Carlos asked. "Well, yeah you kinda do." Logan said. "Carlos, I'm in love with...you." As soon as that word left his mouth he wished he could have taken it back, he saw how quickly Carlos' expression changed it went from happy to anger in a millisecond. Carlos jumped off his bed, he then turned away from Logan, "Carlos say something." "No! Get out!" Carlos yelled. "Carlos please don't do this. If you don't want me I understand but don't shut me out." Logan pleaded. "Get the fuck out!" Carlos shouted this time he pick Logan up and tossed him against the door. Logan hit the back of his head with such force that it actually cause tears to form in his eyes, "Carlos please." The sobs coming from his voice did nothing but fuel Carlos' rage, "I said get out!" As Logan stood up to leave Carlos lashed out with his fist hitting him in his jaw and cause his lip to bust open. Logan leaped out of the room and flew down the steps, then darted out the front door leaving it wide open. Both Kendall and James stared in disbelief, "What just happened?"

The next morning James came downstairs and found Kendall asleep near the still wide open front door, he tapped him awake. "No Logan uhh?" "I guess not." Kendall slowly rose to his feet, "What do you think happened?" "I don't know Carlos is locked in his room and won't answer the door." James said. "Damn." Kendall hissed. "Hey look there's a message." James said as he pushed to button. Logan's voice came out of the speaker, "Hey guys, listen I'm sorry I ran out of the house last night without saying anything but I just had to get out of there. Listen you don't have to worry about I'm leaving to Minnesota tonight. I know that this might hurt you all but I'm coming back, sorry, bye." As the machine beeped the end of the message both Kendall and James were in shock. They couldn't believe that Logan would do this to them without an explanation. Now they really wanted to know what happened between him and Carlos. "The hell with this I'm gonna find out what happened even if I have to bust the door down." Kendall stormed upstairs and banged on Carlos' door. "Carlos open the damn door!" "No! Go the hell away!" Carlos shouted. "Carlos open this door now! We need to know what happened!" Kendall shouted as he banged some more. "No!" Carlos again shouted. "Fuck this." Kendall stated. He then kicked the door, "Open up!" this time he got no answer from Carlos, he kicked it several more times till the door flew open. "What the hell, Kendall!" Carlos shouted as he jumped in his bed. "What's you problem man. Why'd you kick in my door?" "Cause dude we need to know what happened between you and Logan." Kendall said. By now James had entered the room as well he glanced at the door, "Damn Kendall." "You don't need to know what happened between me and Logan that is our business." Carlos said. "Yes we do cause now it affected us, he left to Minnesota and isn't coming back." Kendall said. Shock hit Carlos, "What?" "He left a message a saying he went to Minnesota and that he's not coming back. Now what happened?" Kendall said. "Well first off he told me he is gay." Carlos said. "Okay what else happened?" James asked. "Then he told me that he is in love with me." Carlos lowered his head. "Carlos what happened after he said that?" Kendall asked. "I told him to get out, he wouldn't so I picked him up and tossed him against the door and before I could stop myself I punched him." Carlos sat back down on his bed. "You did what!" Kendall shouted. "You son of a bitch, how could you?" James had to hold Kendall back which wasn't easy, "Kendall calm down that's not gonna help right now." "Get off of me!" Kendall shouted. "Carlos how could you hit him, knowing what he went through with his father." James said. "I know I'm sorry I didn't mean to it just happened." Carlos began to sob which calmed Kendall he didn't like it when he saw his friends cry. "You can let me go now James I'm fine." "Are you sure?" James asked. "Yes." Kendall stated. James let Kendall go and they both sat next to Carlos on his bed, "Guys I didn't mean to hit him I just did and I regret it but I can't take it back." Carlos sobbed into Kendall's shoulders. "Guys what do I do..." He then looked at both of them, "Guys I love him too but I just couldn't face it."_ Input song_: _Kelly Clarkson 'Impossible'_


	4. Chapter 4

-A Few days Later-

A woman with long dark hair is rushing down a long hall way along side her is a gentleman who looks to be at least in his late twenties, "Mom slow down." "No I must find a doctor." His mother said. They finally made it to the nurses station, "Excuse me I need to know what room Logan Mitchell is in." "And you are?" The nurse asked. "His mother and this is his brother." Mrs. Mitchell said. "He is in room 213, please wait while I call the doctor." the nurse said. "Okay." Mrs. Mitchell and her son sat down. With in a matter of seconds a man in a white lab coat walked up to them, "Hi, I'm Dr. Andrews." She stood up as she shook his hand, "How's my son?" "Well, when he was brought in his was covered in blood. He suffered two stab wounds to his right side. He had multiple hits to his stomach and blows to the head. He also has a bullet in his spin that if we move he might be paralyzed for the rest of his life." "Oh god." Mrs. Mitchell's legs gave out from under her and she fell back into the chair sobbing uncontrollable. "Doc, is he okay?" Landon asked. "Yes, we were able to stop all of the bleeding and lucky the knife wounds didn't pierce his lungs. But Mrs. Mitchell your son fell into a coma. Which he has been in for several days." Dr. Andrews said. Mrs. Mitchell was still crying, "Doctor is okay if we see him?" Landon asked. "Yes please follow me." Dr. Andrews said. Landon helped his mother to her feet and held her up as they followed the doctor, her sobs could be heard through the hall. They stopped in front of a door, "Please brace yourself for what you're about to see." Dr. Andrews said. Once the door was opened what they saw frighten them, they saw Logan's semi-lifeless body laying on the bed with several wires attached to him. Several wires led in the heart machine and there was one for the breathing machine. Mrs. Mitchell break down even more, Landon sat her down in a chair near Logan, "Oh my poor baby. How could this happen?" By now Landon began to cry, "Doc, do they know what happened and who did this?" "Well he was found in the park so the police believed that he may have been mugged or that a gang attacked him, so really they are still trying to figure out what happened." Dr. Andrews said. "Thanks doc, but I think my mom wants to be alone with him." Landon said. "Okay well call if you have any more questions." Dr. Andrews stepped out of the room. "Mom should we call the guys?" Landon asked. Mrs. Mitchell nodded her head, "I'll be right back." Landon stepped out of the room and as he walked out of the hospital he dialed BTR's number.

-Big Time Rush Mansion-

It had been three days since Logan left for Minnesota and the guys haven't heard from him since, so they believe what he said was true he isn't coming back nor does he want to talk to them. After what Carlos did who could blame him, all Logan did was reveal his true feelings for Carlos and he had no right to hit him knowing what he has been through. Carlos hasn't quite been his free spirited self since then either all he did was sit around the mansion glancing blankly out the window and at the front door hoping that Logan would walk through it and he could tell him how sorry he was for what he did and explain to him how much he loves him and wants to be with him but a lass it was too late, Logan was not coming back. He looked up to the sight of Kendall walking down the stairs, "Still no call?" Carlos shook his head, "Listen I know that you're sorry for what you did to him but you have to realize that he needs some time and space and when he is ready he will come back or call." "I know but I hurt so bad for what I did." Carlos said. "What if he never calls or comes back then he'll never know." "Carlos, bro, when you hit him he most likely flashback to when his father would hit him and running away was probably the only way he could deal with it." Kendall said. "Kendall have you ever been in love with someone so much that it pains you every time you think of them. And that you would give up everything in world just to be with them?" Carlos asked. Kendall sat next to Carlos and wrapped him up in his arms, "Yes. And that's called true love." Carlos sobbed into Kendall's chest, "I want him." James entered the mansion, he saw Kendall holding a crying Carlos close to his chest. "I take it no call?" Kendall shook his head, James joined them on the sofa and he too wrapped his arms around Carlos placing his head on his back, "It'll be okay Carlos." _Input song: S Club 'I Really Miss You'. _"Carlos how long have you been in love with Logan?" James asked. "Two days before we came out to L.A." Carlos said. "When I found him beaten by his father all I wanted to do was wrap him up in my arms hold him forever. My heart hurt so bad to see him like that." "Carlos, why didn't you just tell Logan how you felt about?" Kendall asked. "Cause I was scared. I was sacred of being gay. I was sacred that he wouldn't or didn't love me back. I was sacred of my family. All my life I was told that being gay was a sin and that you/they would go to hell." Carlos said. "Oh Carlos. I'm so sorry." Kendall said. "I have always known how you felt about him." Both James and Carlos were in shock, "H-How?" "Please I've noticed the way you look at him. I've seen the way you touch him. Not to mention you called his name out once in your sleep." Kendall smiled, "But I didn't say anything cause I didn't want to call you out on it nor did I want you to feel like you had to tell us. But Carlos now that you know he loves you do you want to be with him?" Carlos paused before he answered, true he loves Logan and yes he does want to be with him but can he afford it? What would happen to his career? How would his family react to him being gay? "Yes." Both James and Kendall smiled, "Then let's go get your man back." "But what about your photo shoot and James what about you guest spots?" Carlos asked. "Screw them." James said. Once Carlos heard that he had the biggest smile on his face, "Thanks guys." As Carlos jumped down the stairs the phone rang and Kendall picked it up, "Hello? Oh hey, Landon. Can I speak with Logan? What? What happened? Oh god, yeah no we're on our way." Kendall slammed the phone down as James walked in, "What happened?"


	5. Chapter 5

-Los Angeles General Hospital-

Big Time Rush's limo came to a screeching stop, all three boys jumped out of the limo and darted into the hospital. Landon greeted them at the doors, "Hey guys." "Dude what happened? We thought he was in Minnesota all this time." Kendall said. "I don't know what happened, really. The doctor said that he was found in the park barely breathing three days ago." Landon said. "What?" Kendall questioned. "Can we see him?" "Yeah but guys I have to warn you it's not a pretty sight." Landon led them to Logan's room. Once inside they glanced at Logan's motionless body attached to a heart mentoring machine and a breathing machine. Carlos quickly break down and exited the room, he couldn't bear to see the man he loves like that. Once outside he fell against the wall and cried. "Do they know who did this?" James asked. "No." Landon said. "They aren't sure if it was a mugging or a gang or what." Carlos cried his eyes out as he sat against the wall listening to Landon explain everything to James and Kendall, he thought to himself that if he didn't hit Logan or treat him to way he did none of this would have happened and he would be in his arms smiling and showering him with the warmth of his love. "Do they know if he'll ever come out of his coma?" James asked. "It's hard to tell it could days, weeks, months even years." Landon said. "All we can do now is wait and see."

_Input Song: Christina Aquilera 'Reflection'_

Logan opened his eyes and all he saw was a large empty white room, "Hello?" His voice echoed throughout the room. "Hello, is anyone there?" He stood there hearing only the echo of his own voice, "What's going?" "I can answer that question." Logan spun around to the sight of a large male with blonde hair and he was wearing a white suit. "Who are you?" "My name is Able." "Am I dead?" "No my dear boy you are merely resting but alive." Able said. "Now I am what is known as a guardian angel." "What? But I didn't know angels were real?" "Oh yes we are, we just stay hidden." Able waved his hand and two chairs appeared. He then motioned for him to sit. "Have you ever been in a situation where you thought that you would lose your life but then at the last possible moment something saved you." "Yes." "Well, that is me." He smiled, "Every mortal has a guardian angel and I am yours." "So what am I doing here?" "Well, every mortal has what we like to call a life defining moment, which in a lifespan you will at least have four. This is your second." Logan was in shock all his life he believed in angels but he never thought that they were real let alone that he would meet one. "This is my second?" "Yes your first was that night you father beat you to near death although I wanted to I couldn't not intervene. Now I know what you are probably thinking why would an angel waste their time on me being gay and all. But my dear boy my father cares not if your are gay he loves you no matter and wants nothing but the best for you." Logan lowered his head, "What is wrong?" "All my life I have been told that being gay is going against God and that I would go to Hell." "Don't believe in that, God loves all. The love he has is big enough for all. After all he made you in his image. Now let's get down to the reason why I am here." "Which is?" "Logan Mitchell, all your life you have suffered. You were beaten and rapped by your father. You were bullied as a child. You were neglected by your mother. As a result of all that you thought that no one could love you which has cause you to build a brick wall around your heart, not wanting to let anyone in, not wanting to feel love and just end up hurt. But when you met Carlos Garcia you found love, you found true happiness, you found your soul mate. What would you give up for him?" Logan thought to himself everything that Able has said is true but he didn't think that Carlos was, is, his soul mate that has never crossed his mind. He questioned himself what would he give up to be with Carlos? He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out at first, "I...I...I...Would give up my life to be with him." Able smiled, "Well that won't be necessary." He stood up, "All you really need to do is relive what happened to you that night." Logan was in shock, he didn't want to remember what happened to him it hurt to much, "What?" "I'm sorry Logan but for you to deal with what happened you blocked it out which in turn caused you to fall into a coma. And in order for to be with Carlos you must relive it, like I said this is a life defining moment." Tears formed in Logan's eyes, "But why?" "I'm sorry there is no other way." Able clapped his hands together sending off a blinding flash of light, Logan covered his eyes to block the light out.

-Three Nights Ago-

_Input Song: Marilyn Manson 'Suicide Is Painless'_

Logan pulled his car into the parking lot area of the park, he climbed out with tear stained cheeks and blood shot red eyes, he ran up the bridge that overlooked the river below. He stared out at the river thinking of what should he do, should he go back and deal with Carlos? Should he just ran and never look back? Should he give Carlos back what he did to him? Or should he just fuck it all and jump? As these thoughts crashed together in his head he laid his head on the edge of the bridge and fell to his knees still crying, how could his best friend in the world strike him? Knowing what he has been through. Knowing that his father beat him day and night. Why would he do that? As Logan sat there he could hear people running along the sidewalk, some walking their dogs so he could hear barking, he glanced up hoping that no one would pass by him and see him sitting there crying his eyes out. He took his phone out a dialed the house number, it rang six times before the machine went off. He stood up, "Hey guys, listen I'm sorry I ran out of the house last night without saying anything but I just had to get out of there. Listen you don't have to worry about I'm leaving to Minnesota tonight. I know that this might hurt you all but I'm coming back, sorry, bye." Before he could hang up the phone it was knocked out of his hands and he was hit in the back of his head which cause him to fall forward on the ground, "Hey there fagget!" Someone shouted. "Please I don't want any trouble." Logan said. The man kicked Logan across his face causing blood to fly out of his mouth, he then began to kick him in his stomach. "Pick him up!" Two other guys picked Logan up. "You're gonna burn in hell fagget." He then stabbed him twice in his right side as Logan fell his hand went to his side and he gasped for air. "Come on man let's go." "No I'm not done with him." As Logan remained on his knees the man pulled out a gun, "Come on man you're taking this too far." "Yeah that's enough let's go." "No!" He pointed the gun at them, "I'm not done." He walked behind Logan, "This will teach you." He fired the gun as the bullet pierced Logan's back his screamed out in pain which cause a dog to bark and thus the men ran away. As he laid there bleeding out and gasping to breath all he could think out was Carlos' smiled face. "Car...los..."

* * *

AN: Not sure where i wanna take it from here. I'm not sure if i want Logan to wake up right away or draw it out a little logner? Let me know what you think?


	6. Chapter 6

-Now-

Carlos threw open the door to their mansion causing it to hit the glass mirror and sending glass crashing to the floor. He glanced at himself in another mirror, he hated himself for what he did to Logan. He hated that it was his fault that Logan ran out of the house that night and now as a result he is laying in a hospital bed in a coma. He hated that he couldn't tell the man he loves that he loves him and now he'll never know. Without thinking he launched his fist at the mirror causing it to shatter and blood oozed from his fist. He fell to his knees sobbing in his hands, "Why Logan? Why? Why did you have to run from me?" He then began to punch the wall in front of him leaving blood prints there. "Fuck!" He shot up from the spot he was in and walked towards the answering machine dripping blood. He wanted to hear Logan's voice, he thought by hearing his voice that it would lighten the pain on his heart. He pushed the button and Logan's voice went off, "Hey guys, listen I'm sorry I ran out of the house last night without saying anything but I just had to get out of there. Listen you don't have to worry about me I'm leaving to Minnesota tonight. I know that this might hurt you all but I'm coming back, sorry, bye.'" It didn't work out as he planed, it just caused more pain as he fought back tears he could hear Logan's voice but he had thought the message had ended. He could hear Logan saying 'Please I don't want any trouble.' He could hear what sounded like someone beating on Logan. He could hear Logan asking him to stop, leave him alone, please and he sounded like he was begging for his life. He heard on guy say 'Pick him up!' then say 'You're gonna burn in hell fagget.' He heard another guy's voice say 'Come on man let's go.' then someone say 'No I'm not done with him.' then a different voice came on 'Come on man you're taking this too far.' and 'Yeah that's enough let's go.' then guy before said 'No!' Then he heard a gun fire. The last thing he heard was Logan saying his name then the line went dead. Carlos swelled up with rage, he picked up the machine and threw it against the wall causing it to shatter to pieces. He then lifted a chair a threw it across the room and it shattered against the wall. By the time James entered the mansion it was completely trashed, he saw broken glass, bloody prints on the wall and he found Carlos sobbing against the wall near broken glass with a very sharp piece near his wrist. "Carlos!" Carlos jumped from the fright of James shouting his name, "What the hell man!" "I'm sorry." Carlos sobbed out, "I couldn't take it. I did this to him, it's my fault he is laying in a coma in a hospital." "Carlos stop thinking that way, it's not your fault." James said as he knelt down in front of him, "Carlos hand me the glass." "No. I-I-I-I have to do this. It's the only way." Carlos didn't even look up at James. "No, Carlos it's not the only way. Carlos, Logan isn't dead." James said. "Carlos hand me the glass, please." Carlos handed the glass over James who threw behind the sofa and pulled a sobbing Carlos into his arms, "I heard him James. I heard Logan begging." "What do you mean?" James questioned. "The message he left his phone never went off, I heard him begging for them to stop and begging for his life. And the last thing I heard was him calling my name then the phone went dead." By now Carlos was sobbing uncontrollably into James' chest. "Oh I'm so sorry Carlos." Now James was crying, he couldn't believe how much pain Carlos was in. He loves his friends all but Carlos is like a brother to him so he loves him a little more then Kendall and Logan. "Why did I do it? Why did I have to hit him? Knowing what he has been through. Why? I'm such an ass!" "Carlos stop this won't help. You have to remain strong, Logan needs us all to be strong." James said. "Kendall hates me for what I did and I know he blames me for what happened to Logan." Carlos said. "Kendall doesn't hate you nor does he blame you for what happened, so stop beating yourself up okay." James said.

-Los Angeles General Hospital-

By now Gustavo and Kelly had shown up, "Okay I know that Logan is in bad shape and everything and I don't want to sound unsympathetic but we need to tell the media something cause this is all over the news." Gustavo said. "I know but what do we tell them?" Kendall asked. "Do we tell them that it was a mugging or do we tell them that he was gay bashed?" Both Landon and Mrs. Mitchell knew that Logan was gay so it wasn't as much a surprises to them when Kendall said that but it shocked both Kelly and Gustavo. "What? Logan is gay?" Kelly asked. "Yes, he came out a few hours before he was attacked." Kendall said. "Okay well, Mrs. Mitchell it's your call." Gustavo said. "Do you want us to tell them it was a mugging or the truth?" Mrs. Mitchell thought for a few minutes she then glanced at her son, "Tell them the truth." Landon smiled, he knew that Logan would've wanted it this way, "Okay, let's go Kelly. Kendall." Gustavo said. "What? I want to stay with Logan." Kendall said. "We need at least one of you there to show support." Gustavo said. "Go ahead Kendall, if anything happens while you're gone we'll come and get you." Landon said. "Okay." Kendall stood up and walked out of the room with Gustavo and Kelly. "Mom should we call dad and let him know what happened?" Landon asked. "No." Mrs. Mitchell said, "But can you please go call Michael and tell him what's going on so he can tell Lamar that Logan is okay." "Sure." Landon said. Logan's parents had filed for divorce a month after he left for L.A, then a year after that she married Michael who is a cousin to Logan's father which is why her last name is still Mitchell. And she gave birth to Lamar Logan Mitchell, who is five now and he looks up to both of his brothers especially Logan. Mrs. Mitchell sat there holding her sons hand and looking at him, "Logan, you have to wake up. Please son don't this to me, I need you to wake up." Landon had returned, "Mom, Mike said that he and Lamar will be on the first flight out. Oh and grandma called." "Did you or Michael tell her anything?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. "I didn't and Mike said he didn't cause he didn't want her to tell dad." Landon said. "Good." Mrs. Mitchell said. "He is the last person I want here all he'll do is cause trouble." "Mom don't you think he has a right to know about Logan? He is his father after all." Landon said. Mrs. Mitchell shot him one of her famous death glares, "No." "Okay." Landon stated. He knew better then to fight his mother on this she hated his father for what he did to Logan, she hated that not only did he beat him day and night but that he also rapped him, his own son. She only found out cause one night she had got off early from work and went home to a darken house and as she walked upstairs she could hear the sounds of ? and Logan crying and begging for him to stop. Without thinking she grabbed her sons baseball bat and strike his father on his back and told him to get the hell out and that was the last night she ever saw him. Landon had told her that he knew about everything but he was to scared of his father to say anything, she assured him that it was okay and that everything would be fine, she also asked him if he ever did that to him and Landon said yes but he said that once he turned sixteen he stopped and that's when he went to Logan. She reported it to the police but since Logan wouldn't say anything cause of the fear his father put in him nothing ever happened and besides even if they wanted to do something they couldn't his father had left for England after the divorce was final. The door opened and Dr. Andrews walked in, "Good Evening Mrs. Mitchell. Landon." "Dr. Andrews." Mrs. Mitchell stated as she looked up from her son. "Well, his vitals are still good. He is stable so that's good." Dr. Andrews stated, "And his breathing is steady." Just then Logan moaned as he lightly moved in his bed, "Doctor what's going on?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. Dr. Andrews checked Logan, he lifted his eye lids to check his eyes, he then checked his pulse, "Well, Mrs. Mitchell it may mean that Logan might wake up sooner then we think cause not only did he move but he also moaned so all we can do is hope now." Both Landon and Mrs. Mitchell smiled they hoped that Logan would wake up soon. They hated to see him like this as did his friends.

-Logan's Dream-

Logan opened his eyes to a bright light that blinded him so he covered his eyes with his hands, "What the?" "Daddy!" a little boy who looked to be five yelled as he jumped onto the bed. Logan uncovered his eyes to the sight a small boy with short dark hair and wearing a black shirt with black pajama bottoms, "Daddy?" "Daddy are you okay?" "Yeah but I'm afraid that I'm not your daddy." Logan said. "Who are you?" "Daddy it's me, Mitchell." Logan was in shock he didn't have a son, just then Carlos walked in, "Logie, sweetie are you okay?" "Carlos?" Logan questioned. "Yeah." Carlos stated. "Mitchell listen why don't you go downstairs and play with Bud and Kima." "Carlos, what's going on? And who is Bud and Kima." Logan asked. "Well, Logie we are married Mitchell is our son and Bud and Kima are his dogs." Carlos said. "Wait...W-what...Married? How? When?" Logan asked. "Logie we got married six years ago. I asked you and you said yes then a year later Katie gave us Mitchell." Carlos said. Logan was in shock for the life of him he couldn't remember any of this. He couldn't remember Carlos the love of his life asking him to marry him nor could he remember Mitchell being born. "Carlos I can't remember any of this." "It's okay, a few days ago you hit your head pretty hard and the doctor said that you might have a little memory lose." Carlos said. "Logie, please just say that you still have feelings for me?" "Of course I still have feelings for you, Carlos, I love you. I just can't remember us getting married or Mitchell being born." Logan said. "And way is his name Mitchell?" "Well, we thought it best to give him all of our names, his full name is Mitchell Knight Garcia." Carlos said, he then pulled Logan into his arms, "I love you." Logan smiled into his chest, "I love you, too."


	7. Chapter 7

-Now-

Kendall had returned from the media press, "Any change?" "Yeah, he moved a little and moaned but other then that no." Landon said. Just then James entered along with Carlos close by his side, "Carlos buddy how are you holding up?" Kendall asked as he pulled him into a hug. "Not good but I'm hanging in there." Carlos said. "You know for Logan." "Okay." Kendall stated. "Carlos honey how are you?" Mrs. Mitchell asked. "I'm doing good Mrs. Mitchell, I'm sorry about Logan." Carlos stated. "Thanks honey." Mrs. Mitchell turned her attention back to her son who was still showing no signs of waking up. "Listen guys I'm a little hungry so I'll be right back if he wakes up please someone come and get me." Mrs. Mitchell stood up, "Sure thing." Kendall said. Landon followed his mother out of the room he didn't want her to be alone. "Hey James can I speak with you out in the hall?" Kendall asked. "Sure." James said. Both Kendall and James stepped outside leaving Carlos with Logan. As the door closed Carlos sat in a chair next to Logan's bed, "Logan, you have to wake up, you just have to." He began to sob, "Logan, please wake up. I...Love you." He placed his head down on Logan's arm. "I love you, too." Carlos' head shot up, "Logan? You're awake!" He then shot up and pulled him into his arms. "Oww Carlos that hurts." Logan said. "Oh, I'm sorry." Carlos released Logan from his hold. "Logan, you scared us." "I'm sorry I didn't mean to it's just when you reacted the way you did it hurt to much to stay there and see you. I'm sorry I ran off like that." Logan said. "No, Logie I'm sorry I shouldn't have hit you." Carlos said. "And I'm also sorry that I was scared of my true feelings." "It's okay Carlos I'm not mad at you, I love you remember." Logan said. "I know but I still feel bad about what I did." Carlos said. "Wait the guys they're right outside. Hold on." He got up and went to the door, "Guys Logan's awake." "What!" Both Kendall and James said. The both ran into the room, "Logan!" "Wait, someone should go get your mother and brother." James said. "What my mom is here?" Logan asked. "Yes." Kendall stated. "She hasn't left your side since she got here." "I'll go get her." James stated. "Logan what happened?" Kendall asked. "I really don't want to remember that night." Logan said. "Okay say no more." Kendall said. A few seconds later James along with Mrs. Mitchell and Landon entered the room, "Logan sweetie, you're awake." She pulled her son into her arms, "Oww mom that hurts." Logan said. "Sorry baby." Mrs. Mitchell released her son. "Hey bro, you gave us quite a scare." Landon said. "Sorry about that." Logan said. "Nah man it's okay." Landon said, "I'm just glad you're okay." Dr. Andrews entered the room, "Well, welcome back, son." He then went over to check his vitals, "Well everything appears to be fine. Your vitals are normal. So you should be okay to leave in a few hours but I want to make sure." "Doc, how bad was it?" Logan asked. "Well, you suffered quite a few kicks to your stomach, you were stabbed twice in your right side, you suffered a few blows to the head and you were shot in your back which is why you fell into the coma but we were able to fix everything." Dr. Andrews said. "Well, I'll leave you with your family." He walked out of the room. "Wow that was bad." Logan stated. "It doesn't matter anymore you're alive and awake." Mrs. Mitchell said. Logan smiled at his mother, "Mom how did you fly out here with Lamar?" "I didn't I came with Landon. Michael stayed in Minnesota with Lamar but they are flying out here soon." Mrs. Mitchell said. "Oh okay." Logan said. "How's grandma?" "She doesn't know what happened." Landon stated. "What?" Logan questioned. "We didn't want her to tell dad." Landon said. "Oh." Logan stated. "Listen if it's okay with all of you I would like to be alone with Carlos." "Sure, honey." Mrs. Mitchell stood up and pushed the boys out of the room, well, all but Carlos. Once the door was closed he sat in the chair next to Logan's bed, "Carlos I want you to know that I meant everything I said that night. I'm in love with you I have been since that night you found me heck I only came out to L.A to be with you." Logan said. _Input song: S Club 'Have You Ever'_ "Logan I know and I love you. I have since freshmen year in high school. When I saw you in those gym shorts I know I had to have you they made you look so hot not to mention you have sexy legs." All of that made Logan blush, "Logan when I found you night I wanted to do was pull you into my arms and hold you forever never wanting to you to feel fear or pain again. I wanted to kill your father for what he did to you." "Carlos come here." Carlos glanced at Logan, "Are you sure?" "Yes." Logan held his arms out, Carlos stood up and climbed onto the bed and laid next to Logan who wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. "So what now Carlos?" "I want to be with you if you want to be with me." Carlos said. "Of course I want to be with you, Carlos. If I didn't I wouldn't have said everything I said." Logan smiled as Carlos looked up at him with those big chocolate brown eyes.

-Next day; Rocque Recorders-

Big Time Rush is sitting in Gustavo's office, "What do you mean Griffin wants Logan out of the band?" Kendall shouted. "Well enlighten of Logan's coming out he thinks that it would best for the band." Gustavo said. "But there is no Big Time Rush without Logan." James said. "Yeah we are a band not a trio." Carlos said. "I'm sorry guys Griffin calls the shots it's his money." Gustavo said. "We don't care if Logan is out of the band then Big Time Rush is over!" Kendall shouted. "Kendall calm down." Logan said, "Guys it's okay if he wants me out of the band then I'll leave besides being singer was never my dream. I have always wanted to be a doctor." "Logan, we can't be Big Time Rush without you." Carlos said. "I don't want to lose you." "You won't lose me Carlos. I'm not moving out of the mansion." Logan said. "Listen guys, you don't have to kick him out of the band I said Griffin wants him out of the band not me." Gustavo said. "But Gustavo this is his recorder company?" Kendall questioned. "True which is why I asked Griffin to release BTR from their contract." Gustavo said. "You did what!" James shouted as he shot out of his seat. "James sit." Gustavo said. James sat back down, "Now I also called a very good of mine." The door opened and in walked a man with short dark hair and wearing a nice blue shirt with blue jeans, "Hi my name is Ace Halliwell." "Hi." Kendall stated. "Now Gustavo called me cause I own a company called Pride Recordings and we sign artists who are gay." Ace said. "And I just signed BTR." "But we not all gay." James stated. "True but two of you are. And at this rate no one has to be kicked out nor will you have to hid who you." Ace said. "Why are you willing to sign two openly gay artists?" Logan asked. "Well, to simply put it I'm gay myself." Ace said.

-BTR's Mansion-

Logan and Carlos are laying in their bed now that they are a couple they share one room. Carlos has his arms wrapped around Logan who has his head placed on his chest, "Do you think we'll still be big even though we are both gay?" "It's hard to say Logie but we have to try." "But Carlos I don't want to be cause of the downfall of BTR." "Logie if BTR falls is just proves that we didn't have what it takes and I'm sure James and Kendall wouldn't blame us if it didn't work out." "I know but I will still feel bad." "Well, I tell you what if Kendall and James get mad I'll kick their ass for you cause no one makes my Logie bear feel bad." Logan smiled up at Carlos. He knew that being with Carlos is gonna make him so happy and that all will be right.

**-Speechless by Michael Jackson-**

**Your love is magical, that's how I feel **  
**But I have not the words here to explain **  
**Gone is the grace for expressions of passion **  
**But there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain **  
**To tell you how I feel **  
**But I am speechless, speechless **  
**That's how you make me feel **  
**Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real **  
**When I'm with you I am lost for words, I don't know what to say **  
**My head's spinning like a carousel, so silently I pray **  
**Helpless and hopeless, that's how I feel inside **  
**Nothing's real, but all is possible if God is on my side **  
**When I'm with you I am in the light where I cannot be found **  
**It's as though I am standing in the place called Hallowed Ground **  
**Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel **  
**Though I'm with you I am far away and nothing is for real **  
**I'll go anywhere and do anything just to touch your face **  
**There's no mountain high I cannot climb **  
**I'm humbled in your grace **  
**Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel **  
**Though I'm with you I am lost for words and nothing is for real **  
**Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel **  
**Though I'm with you I am far away, and nothing is for real **  
**Speechless, speechless, that's how you make me feel **  
**Though I'm with you I am lost for words and nothing is for real **  
**SpeechlessYour love is magical, that's how I feel **  
**But in your presence I am lost for words **  
**Words like, "I love you." **


End file.
